( – promoted by mooncat)
but is it just me, is there a really humorous/odd/bizarre selection of articles in the Huntsville Times this morning?
Since we're 1/3 mile down a private road and away from the “blacktop” (as my great-grandmother called it), I just got the paper an hour or so ago, once the rain stopped.
Just had to share this selection of headlines:
- Is a picture worth $530?
- Dutch winemaker has his nose insured for $8 million
- Study indicates third of seniors are starting to fade.
- Bush has no doubts on Iraq war as it enters sixth year.
- Ringleader of body parts scheme pleads guilty.
- A Dear Abby column about pugs.
- Thieves nab $31,000 in jewelry from Kmart
- Lovesick teen caught hanging from rope in attempt at graffitti.
I'll try to provide links as available…
Let's take these tales in order…..
A picture of picturesque buildings in Mooresville may be worth 1,000 words, but it will cost you $530 to snap it.
That's what Huntsville photographer Don Broome found out last month.
While he was taking pictures of historic buildings in Mooresville, Broome said, Mooresville Mayor Jerri McLain met him in the street and served him with a violation notice that advised him to “cease photography and leave immediately.”
—- snip —–
In January, the cost of the photography permit was raised from $25 to $500, said Loretta Clark, who works in Mooresville's historic post office, where information about the photography permits is posted.
What's the reason for this increase? Can it be that Mooresville is suffering financial harm from unauthorized commercial photography? And how quiet is this town that the MAYOR is out issuing citations?
Not hardly. According to Loretta Clark, an employee of Mooresville's historic post office building, those fighting photographers have only themselves to blame:
Before the fee was raised, Mooresville was “overrun with photographers,” she said.
Clark said the fee was increased to try to put an end to streets crowded with photographers, who sometimes got rowdy and fought with one another.
“It was really in self-defense,” said Clark. “We had to clear this out.”
Hmmmm….. I have this vision of photographers, all wearing those multi-pocketed vests that look like they robbed the last bass fisherman they found, rolling around the quiet, historic streets of scenic Mooresville – all jockeying for the best shot of the THREE, count 'em THREE historic buildings in the town.
Hope nobody got punched in the nose because that could get expensive:
This breaking story from the AP indicates how important a great sense of smell is to those in the wine biz. As I valiantly try to finish my glass of kosher wine, personally, I'm wishing I had LOST my sense of smell…. It sounded so intriguing: Pomegranate wine! Unfortunately, it has the look – and smell of fermented horse pee. I ordered it though. I have only myself to blame…
…. or maybe it was one of those famous “senior moments” you start having when you turn 40!
Or maybe we should use this title from the Washington Post: One-third of Seniors Mentally Impaired
More than 5 million elderly people have a hard time remembering things, sorting through daily decisions and even sometimes knowing what day it is, according to the first national estimate of how commonly the minds of aging Americans are starting to fade.
DAMN… I'm only 44 and I have those symptoms! By the time I'm 60, I'll probably be drooling and voting Republican.
Oh, and speaking of delusions and mental impairment…..
Successes we are seeing in Iraq are undeniable, yet some in Washington still call for retreat,'' Bush told an audience of Defense and State Department officials and military officers at the Pentagon. “War critics can no longer credibly argue that we're losing.''
Not much to say about that one…just quoting the chimp is enough. Let's remember these quotes for when we're running against McBush or “Mr. More of the same” this fall.
And unfortunately, there's no longer a good distribution system for the bodies of the almost 4,000 soldiers killed in the past 5 years….
Holy cow!! Not Alistar Cooke too!!!
The mastermind of a scheme to plunder corpses from funeral homes and sell them for millions of dollars pleaded guilty in a deal that could send him to prison for the next five decades.
— snip —
The plea comes more than two years after the gruesome scandal broke, with evidence that corpses were being hacked up without permission or proper screening for diseases and sold for dental implants, knee and hip replacements and other procedures around the country. The looted bodies included that of “Masterpiece Theatre” host Alistair Cooke.
Authorities released photos of exhumed corpses that were boned below the waist. Prosecutors said the defendants had made a crude attempt to cover their tracks by sewing PVC pipe back into the bodies in time for open-casket wakes.
In other news… other Americans are dealing with a problem many of us struggle with every night: DOGS in the bed!
There's just nothing else to say about today's Dear Abby column other than to print it:
DEAR ABBY: My wife is a pug nut. She has two ugly dogs, and she lets them sleep with us. The dogs snore and break wind all night, and she thinks it's cute. If I snore or break wind, she tells me it's annoying.
She dresses these dogs in expensive gowns and pearls. Now she expects me to drive them 1,200 miles to our vacation home, while she flies. She also wants to buy a third dog. What do I do? — NO. 4 IN NEW JERSEY
Maybe he should ply her with jewelry – or maybe he's trying to get on her good side by creating custom dog jewelry.
According to Page B2 of the 3/15 Huntsville Times, there's a crime wave at Kmart.
Thieves nap $31,000 in jewelry from Kmart
ALBERTVILLE: Someone stole nearly $31,000 in jewelry from a display case at Kmat at 7200 US 431 Monday afternoon.
Is it just me or are you amazed that a Kmart HAS $31,000 in jewlery on the premises?
I guess it beats trying to woo your lady love with graffitti…
ATHENS, Tenn. – Two teenagers, one dangling from a rope tied to an interstate bridge and holding a can of spray paint, did not see Sheriff's Deputy Melissa Myers when she drove up. They never got a chance to express their love with graffiti.
— snip —-
Myers said when she arrived, Clark was standing at the railing holding the rope with his friend dangling below. She told Clark to put his hands up, but he said he couldn't let go of the rope.
She said Musnicki tossed the can of red spray paint and tried to escape, but got tangled in the rope. She put Clark in her car and drove around to the road below, arresting Musnicki after he was helped down by a passer-by with a ladder.
Ok, I have a couple of questions…. How often have I driven around with a ladder on the car/truck? And why have I never been called upon to rescue a lovesick teen from an Interstate overpass?
On the bright side, probably my daughter will never date him… or anyone else mentioned in today's truly unusual group of news stories.
There, that was a nice break from the presidential campaign, wasn't it?